The Eve of Peru
Transferred from original diary(posted May 10, 2006)
SUMMARY:
Getting nervous about leaving, but it will be okay. I can do it.
FOR DETAIL LOVERS, ONLY:
Well, here I am, the night before leaving for Peru. It's been an interesting week: I graduated five days ago, created a few final Winona memories, moved home (in several stages), and have spent much of today getting ready for my trip. And by "getting ready", I really mean shopping. As I stood looking at myself in the dressing room at Banana Republic, sporting a new pair of "professional" pants that I hope to wear in Lima, I realized just how therapeutic a trip to my favorite mall can be.
I was surprised at my range of emotions this week. I honestly didn't think that I would miss Winona much until August or September, when school begins without me. But instead, I found myself calling one of my roommates from this past year to reminisce and mourn the "end of an era" not 15 miles out of Winona. She moved out two days before me, and I knew she'd understand the knot in my throat as I watched the Mississippi and all it's familiar landmarks go by.
Both of us are looking forward to summers chock full of international fun, and a lot of work (she has an internship in British Columbia). But as excited as we are, we are both full of uncertainty about what the upcoming months may bring. It would be so easy just to enroll in a few more classes or find a job in Winona, just to stay in our comfort zone. We'd be welcomed, and we'd know how everything works, but we wouldn't be satisfied. I know we're not alone, by any means, that's just the real world in action. It's a lot less structured than the college life, which makes for all kinds of adventure and excitement. But it's very unnerving at the same time! What I wouldn't give to be going out for one last "wings" night in Winona right now . . .
I'm just scared, that's all. At times I'm borderline terrified at the thought of leaving tomorrow. My heart races and my breathing speeds up as I think about taking the shuttle to the Embassy Monday morning and filling out all the paperwork. I just hope I have all my documents in order. I have very little idea what I'm getting into.
But I keep giving myself little reminders that seem to help. I think of those pants that I bought today, and I know that I look the part. I think of Jared, another intern who will apparently be there to greet me and assist me when I arrive at the house (others have done this, so why can't I?). I remind myself that THEY chose ME, and that I filled out my application honestly and accurately, so I must be suited for the job. And I think about my personality. I'll have all weekend to get adjusted, to introduce myself to other interns, and to get a grasp of the situation before even setting foot in the Embassy. I'll be okay. I can do this, I just have to swallow the fear, take a deep breath, and proceed like the confident young (bilingual) business woman that I am. Man, with all the pep talks I'm giving myself this week, I should look into a career as a motivational speaker!
Thank you all for your continued support. Let's get going, and as my dad said, "Have an adventure!"
posted by Jessica @ 2:55 PM
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